From the Front Line invites social workers to share their experiences on various topics and running issues within the sector to help others in their professional journey. To suggest an idea or express interest, email us at anastasia.koutsounia@markallengroup.com
Learning how to deal with adverse reactions to your decisions is a daily struggle in social work.
Individuals and families may respond angrily to plans, sometimes due to past experiences with services the worker may not have been a part of. There are also times when the perspectives of those social workers support stand in direct contrast to those of their organisations, forcing practitioners to tread a difficult middle ground.
For new social workers, managing conflicting views and expectations while assessing and supporting vulnerable individuals can feel overwhelming. But as three practitioners, from across children's and adults' services, recently told Community Care, this is a skill that's honed with time and experience.
For the latest instalment of our From the Front Line series, they reflected on cases where they had to manage conflict, including between the views of families and management, what they learned in the process and how those experiences have continued to guide their practice.
Emma Atkinson, senior social worker, qualified in 2009
About 10 years ago, I was in an adoption service, working with a 10-year-old child around their post-adoption issues.
I felt many of their issues were connected to a lack of information about their life story.
Dealing with anger
After building a relationship with them, I did some low-level life story work to gauge what the child understood and what they’d internalised. However, when I told them we didn't know who their birth father was, the child suddenly started shouting at me: “You're a liar, you're a liar.”
They were really, really upset. Receiving such a negative reaction from a child I was there to support - it really hit home.
Once I'd calmed them down with the help of their mum, the child declared they could prove I was a liar. They took me up to their bedroom, rifled through a drawer and pulled out a folder.
It was their life story book – which I wasn’t aware existed – and on the first page, the template the previous social worker had used read: “This book will tell you about your birth mum and your birth dad and all about your early life."
“See, they do know, and they've taken that bit out,” they told me. “Someone's taken it out and they don't want me to see.”
Feeling responsible when not at fault
My initial reaction at the time was visceral; it shook me. I took it very personally because I wasn't used to that reaction. When I planned to talk to them about [the dad], it felt like a small thing. My understanding was that they were aware that we didn't know who their dad was.
A big part of me also felt responsible. Even though I wasn’t at fault, I represented a profession that had inadvertently lied to the child, which had obviously impacted them for a long time. There were years of anger in that reaction.
It was a real reflection of the detriment that can arise from rushing. Social workers are constantly rushing around. I could completely see how that practitioner might have missed that sentence or failed to consider the impact on the child.
Expect the unexpected
The experience taught me to work with the unexpected. I’d always come with a plan, but I learned to be ready to throw the plan away and follow what the child was asking.
It wasn't just about what I was saying to them; it was what the child had heard from parents, what they’d read in life story books or letters from birth parents, and what they’d understood from other social workers.
That child also carried relational trauma, which brings mistrust. They couldn't trust what I was saying or what their parents were saying. They probably felt very alone, with nothing to hold on to.
Give yourself space to reflect
If you get negative responses or reactions from someone you’re supporting - child or adult - don’t take it personally.
Acknowledge how you feel and give yourself space to reflect. Is something else going on for that person? Could you have done something differently?
Remember much of their reaction could be projection or misdirected anger. Try to see behind their words to any unmet needs and consider how you can support them.
Adults’ social worker
The case that comes to mind involved a gentleman with dementia and several other conditions.
His family believed he was being severely neglected at his care home, but he didn’t want to move, and the previous social worker had said he had the capacity to decide where he lived.
However, with no mental capacity assessment completed, I couldn’t just rely on the practitioner’s word.
Hearing the family's concerns
When I met the family, they were quite agitated and anxious about moving the man, insisting they had power of attorney. It was an intense first meeting, but instead of talking, I listened.
Over time, they revealed they had previously raised concerns about the care home, but hadn’t been taken seriously. They had waited a long time for a social worker, and the situation had worsened.
I ended up building a good relationship with the gentleman, but he wouldn’t engage with concerns about his placement. He’d give me knowing looks but wouldn’t co-operate further, as was his nature, due to his conditions and personality.
Mostly, he just wanted to be left alone. He didn’t want to move from his bed; he didn't even want to have a cup of tea or go to the toilet.
Following my assessment, I concluded he lacked the capacity to decide where to live. I raised a safeguarding concern and said he needed to be moved. The family were relieved.
When management rejects your recommendations
But after arranging the funding, a senior manager returned from holiday and asked me to halt everything and hold an emergency multidisciplinary meeting to discuss different options. I refused. The family’s decision wasn’t contentious; they were making what I also agreed to be a decision in his best interests.
I left the organisation soon after for various reasons, and three days later the case went to another social worker who was told to start over.
When she rang me up, I said: “Read everything I've written, and if you disagree with any of it, go ahead and change it." The information was only a week old.
She ended up following my recommendations – and with two social workers expressing the same opinion, the management relented. The gentleman moved and is now thriving.
Focus on evidence
The case reinforced the importance of focusing on evidence.
When you receive contrasting feedback from a family and management, you have to gather the facts and prepare for difficult conversations – whether with your managers or the family.
Ensure your professional opinion is rooted in theory, facts, and experience, and be open to your manager’s viewpoint. Keep an open mind until you’re confident your decision would stand up in court or to other forms of scrutiny.
Bethany Erickson Rodrigues, independent senior social worker, qualified in 2003
I had a family once tell me, “You’ve changed,” after I submitted a report. They said that when we had first met, I’d seemed sympathetic, but my report didn’t reflect that.
It was true. I’ve heard similar things about other practitioners since. Families say social workers come in showing understanding, but change their tune after going back to their service.
In that case, I was assessing a family member who wanted contact with a child. He had a history of domestic abuse and controlling behaviour, so the family was wary.
However, he had applied to court for contact, and it had been granted, so we were trying to find an approach that reduced risk for the family.
‘Who’s going to fund that?’
After meeting with the family, I recommended that contact should no longer be supervised by relatives, for their safety and wellbeing. I advised that counselling and therapeutic support be put in place, along with third-party mediation during contact sessions to help manage risk.
When I included this in my report, my manager’s immediate reaction was: “Who’s going to fund all that?” They rejected the proposal on the grounds that we didn’t have the budget.
In a later discussion with the head of service, I pushed again for ways to implement the plan. When I explained that I was advocating for the family, I was told: “That’s not your job."
In the end, my recommendations were not approved. It was left to the family to supervise meetings, and they were not happy. When they called, all I could do was apologise and be honest: I agreed with their concerns and stood by my initial proposal. Unfortunately, it felt completely out of my control at that time.
‘Don’t let yourself get moulded’
In my first job at a family centre, my mentor told me: “Don’t let yourself get moulded to the service.”
Everyone comes with their own agendas and perspectives; you have to trust your professional instinct.
At the time of this case, my confidence took a hit. I felt silenced and censored. Now I would tell myself to pause, and remind myself that the family and child come first. I would advocate for a three-way meeting between me, the family and the manager.
It often falls to the social worker to have these difficult conversations, but management should be part of it. It wouldn't necessarily change the outcome, but at least there would be full transparency of the decision-making process, and they would feel heard.
We could also then bring in some creative thinking in finding recommendations that meet everyone's needs. For example, if we don’t currently have enough funding, we could consider making use of community resources.
'I burned out more than once'
You’ll always face resistance because so much comes down to budgets. If I had a dime for every time I've heard there’s no budget, I’d be rich.
But pushing has its costs. I have angered people, felt frustrated and burned out more than once. That’s inevitable when you pour your own emotional resources into fighting for what families need.
What’s helped is finding mentors and workplaces that share my values. Unfortunately, the system doesn't always have it right. You have to be willing to take a stand - and know your laws and procedures.
