This is the eleventh instalment in Sophie Baker’s ‘What I wish I had known…’ series, where she reflects on her approach to practice when she started out – and what she would tell her younger self now.
I still remember the day I first met Savannah and her three young children.
Despite the warm morning, the curtains in the small lounge were drawn tight, leaving the room dark and airless. Savannah was sat on a thin mattress on the floor, silently crying.
Her tiny frame was hunched over and she looked utterly exhausted, weighed down by sadness. Around us, her three young children moved with speed and energy. Almost the first thing she said to me was that she couldn’t cope with caring for the children anymore.
What is a strengths-based approach?
A strengths-based approach in social work is all about spotting and building on the strengths, resources and resilience that people, families and communities already have, rather than focusing on what is ‘wrong’. The goal is to support people to be active partners in change not passive recipients of help (Bassot, 2024).
Looking back, I can see that early in my career I hadn’t yet realised just how transformative this way of working could be. I came to understand that even small shifts in how I framed Savannah’s situation, the language I used and the way I celebrated her efforts made a real difference.
It helped her recognise her abilities and believe that she could make things better for herself and her children.
From listening to problems to highlighting strengths
I wish I had known how powerful small, strengths-based questions can be, even when a parent is overwhelmed by despair.
When I first met Savannah, she immediately began listing all the ways she felt she was failing: her mental health was poor, the father had left, the children didn’t listen, she lacked the energy to take them to nursery etc.
I listened carefully, retaining eye contact, nodding and paraphrasing what I had heard. But I was starting to realise that merely listening to her ‘problems’ wasn’t going to help her find solutions.
I needed to guide the conversation toward what was working well (however small), in order to help her move away from her deep sense of helplessness, towards thinking about future possibilities and options.
Finding a glimmer of hope
I wanted to help her think about how she could build on her resilience and optimism, so I asked, what her children would say was the best thing about her as a mum.
She immediately said there was nothing they would highlight. So I took up a different approach, gently asking, ‘What would they say is a happy memory with you?’.
Reluctantly, she described a time when they all sat together at the table eating a dinner she had made. As she recalled the story, she let out a smile for the first time in our meeting.
That small moment taught me that even when despair feels overwhelming, there are always glimmers of hope and strength. I began to understand how a carefully framed question can help a parent see them and provide opportunities to build on them.
Creating a 'script' of strengths-based questions
As I became more confident asking strengths-based questions, I slowly created a bank of prompts I could draw upon for help.
Having a ‘script’ of questions helped provide a guide for difficult conversations with parents, keeping me focused on strengths and solutions without getting sidetracked by the family’s problems.
Some types of questions I’ve used in the past include:
- Resource questions to help someone identify the skills, supports or strengths they already have that could help them move forward. For example, "What has helped you cope in the past" or "Who supports you right now?"
- Empowerment questions to encourage someone to recognise their own agency and control in a situation. For example, "What strengths do you see in yourself that others might not know about?" or "What achievements are you most proud of?"
- Goal-oriented questions to help clarify what they want to achieve and what progress could look like for them. For example, "What small steps could you take towards your goal?" or ‘"What would I notice first if this problem was sorted?"
- Scaling questions, which ask individuals to rate their situation or progress on a numerical scale to help measure change and explore what would move them up the scale. For example, "On a scale of 0-10, where zero means life is so bad at the moment that you need someone else to care for your children and 10 means you feel confident and able to manage everything well, where would you place yourself right now?" I would then follow up with a question like, "Who or what could support you in moving up the scale?" This usually helps the person start thinking about help from external sources, like friends and family, without feeling like solutions have been imposed on them.
- Miracle questions, which invite individuals to imagine that, overnight, their problem has been solved, and envision what life could look like. For example, "Suppose overnight you feel confident and supported as a parent. What would you notice first? What would your child notice? What would you do differently tomorrow morning?"
- Exception questions to recall times when the problem was less severe, so they can explore what was different and build on what already works. For example, "Tell me about a time when your problems weren’t feeling so big. What were you doing differently then?"
- Coping questions to encourage someone to recognise the strategies, skills or actions they are already using to manage challenges or get through difficult situations. For example, "Tell me how you have managed to keep going despite these challenges."
Being strengths based doesn’t mean ignoring risk
My work with Savannah also helped me understand how working in a strengths-based way does not mean ignoring risk.
At first, I was worried that focusing on strengths might allow the serious concerns to be overlooked. However, I discovered that strengths-based questioning helped Savannah and I to gently acknowledge and address risks together in order to create plans to keep the children safe.
Asking questions like ,"When you’re feeling so low that you can’t supervise the children or keep them safe, who could help?", allowed us to explore solutions without shaming or blaming.
Celebrate those who've inspired you
Do you have a colleague, mentor, or social work figure you can't help but gush about?
Our My Brilliant Colleague series invites you to celebrate anyone within social work who has inspired you – whether current or former colleagues, managers, students, lecturers, mentors or prominent past or present sector figures whom you have admired from afar.
Nominate your colleague or inspiration by filling in our nominations form with a few paragraphs (100-250 words) explaining how and why the person has inspired you.
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Identifying sources of support
Even in moments of vulnerability, Savannah had resources and networks she could call on. By using strengths-based ‘resource’ questions, alongside eco-maps and genograms, we gently explored the support system already available to her.
Our work focused on identifying other people who could provide practical and emotional support when she was unable to do so.
Friends and family were called upon to help Savannah attend health appointments by babysitting the children, keep her company in the evenings, when she felt at her lowest, collect a bit of shopping for her and offer a listening ear when parenting got tough.
Building solutions together
I knew Savannah already held skills, resilience and coping strategies needed to thrive.
When I met her, she was feeling so low and facing such mounting challenges that she couldn’t see that. By focusing on practical steps and encouraging her own thinking, she begun to see that she had the ability to make positive changes.
When it was time to say goodbye, she told me other social workers had made her feel like she was a problem, something that needed ‘correcting’.
But my approach had made her feel like the expert of her family and that she could find her own way forward - a win for strengths-based approaches for sure!
Reference
Bassot, B (2024) Applying Social Work Theory: A Journal, London: Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
