'What I wish I had known about keeping safe during home visits'

by Sophie Baker

This is the second installment in Sophie Baker's 'What I wish I had known...' series, where she reflects on her approach to practice when she started out - and what she would tell her younger self now.

As I perched on the edge of the two-seater sofa in the lounge, facing Vicki*, I knew I had made a big mistake.

Not because I was intimidated by her, but because I was frightened of her boyfriend, Danny*. He stood leaning against the doorway of the lounge, blocking the only exit, with his arms crossed and his anger palpable.

Neighbours had reported incidents of suspected domestic abuse after hearing Vicki and her two young children screaming and crying.

I was freshly qualified and had been told that the police had asked Danny to leave the home, so I hadn’t been expecting him to be there.

He was immediately angry that a social worker was visiting and did not feel it was necessary. He denied that the children had been impacted by the arguments and described the neighbour who had referred them as nosy and interfering.

His eyes were bulging and he kept pointing his finger at me as he spoke.

In social work, we often visit families alone; many of these families are experiencing crises or challenges that can evoke strong emotions, like anger or fear. These situations make safety a crucial part of our practice.

Here are the lessons I wish I had known before I knocked on that door.

Making sure my supervisor knew where I was

It seems obvious, but it’s vital to let someone from your office know where you are at all times.

In this instance, I hadn’t told my supervisor where I was heading. This left me especially vulnerable.

I should have provided my supervisor with the details of whom I was visiting, the address and my estimated return time. We should have also agreed on a plan if I didn’t return as expected.

If I could go back, I’d also make sure to discuss the home visiting policy with my supervisor early on, so I was clear on how best I could be kept safe.

Better preparing my journey

I hadn’t thought through my journey to the family’s home. It was dark, it was raining and I had to park far away and walk through a poorly lit area.

By the time I reached the door, I already felt uneasy - not the best mindset for a home visit.

In hindsight, I should have parked my car as close as possible, ensuring it faced the exit and was in a space where it couldn’t be blocked in. I’d also avoid parking in a family’s driveway to ensure I could leave quickly if needed.

Before leaving my car, I’d take a moment to get my bearings so I wouldn’t feel disoriented. A great tip I’ve learned over the years is to keep your car keys in hand as you leave so you’re ready to unlock your car quickly.

Thinking about where I positioned myself 

During my visit, I unknowingly positioned myself with my back to the lounge door while speaking with Vicki.

This meant I didn’t notice Danny’s presence until he started speaking. His positioning against the doorway meant I was trapped in the lounge.  He could have easily stopped me from leaving had he wanted to.

At that moment, I felt incredibly vulnerable and unsettled. It made me realise just how important it is to be aware of my surroundings.

From that day forward, I made a conscious effort to choose a seat where I could clearly see both the exit and the entire room, ensuring that I always had a sense of security and control over my environment.

Trusting my instincts

Reflecting on that day, I think I sensed something was wrong as soon as Vicki answered the door.

She looked worried, but instead of pausing to ask if everything was okay, I pushed ahead with my introductions. I didn’t give her the chance to tell me that Danny was in the home.

If I could advise my younger self, I’d say to listen to those nagging feelings.

It’s perfectly acceptable to make an excuse and leave if something feels off. You can always return later with additional support, or, if you’re worried about someone’s safety, you can call your office or the police for assistance.

I’d also recommend asking directly who is in the property or if they’re expecting any visitors. This simple question can provide clarity and help you prepare for unexpected situations.

Being brave enough to ask a colleague to join me

Early in my career, I did not feel I could ask for someone to accompany me to visits. I felt that, by seeking help, I was admitting that I lacked the courage to be a social worker.

I think it’s completely normal to feel this way, especially in a profession like social work, where staff strength and resilience are celebrated. However, I now know that asking for help is actually a sign of self-awareness, not weakness.

Visiting in pairs can prove vital. Not only does it provide added safety, but it’s also a great opportunity to observe and learn from others.

On a subsequent joint visit, I remember witnessing a colleague’s compassion as she sat beside a mother experiencing postnatal depression and held her hand.

That moment profoundly influenced my practice and taught me the importance of empathy and human connection.

The impact of fear

When people are angry, it can feel very scary.

During my conversation with Danny, my fear affected my ability to respond effectively.

I became flustered, interrupted him and struggled to find the right words, desperate to help him see how his alleged behaviour could be affecting his wife and children.

Unsurprisingly, this only escalated his frustration.

He started speaking louder. His tone became sharper and more aggressive, his body posture stiffened and his jaw was clenched. He was also muttering under his breath and scoffing at my efforts to explain why I was worried.

Learning to listen

In that moment, I felt unsure as to how I was going to calm the situation, but, over time, I’ve learned techniques to help de-escalate tense situations.

The most valuable lesson? Stop talking and listen. Let people express their feelings without interruption.

I learnt how to use a calm, steady voice and have open body language. Reflecting peoples’ emotions back to them can help too with phrases like, ‘I can see this is really upsetting for you’ or ‘I understand how frustrating this must be’.

Sometimes, just giving someone space to vent can help them feel heard and ease their tension.

Being mindful of language

I should have given more thought as to how Danny and Vicki were feeling about my visit. Home visits by social workers can feel intrusive, so building rapport and trust from the start is crucial.

Additionally, I fear the language I used felt accusatory and critical. This has made me mindful of ensuring families feel heard and supported before diving into the gritty details.

By focusing on building partnerships and genuine connections early, I found parents were more likely to co-operate and accept help.

Trust cannot be built immediately, but we can help move things along by proving early on that we are collaborative, reliable and consistent.

Fear can distort priorities

Looking back, this visit taught me the danger of fear unconsciously distorting our priorities.

If the children had been present, I might have overlooked their needs due to feeling so intimidated. Fear could have led me to rush the visit or avoid direct interactions with them.

It’s important to ensure our safety so we can think clearly and offer the best possible support to the family we’re working with.

I’d remind my younger self to pause, take a breath and remain focused on the children’s wellbeing, even in challenging situations.

*Names have been changed for anonymity.